Accidents

are very common around me. I am the most accident prone person it's not even cute [like in *cue mimicking voice* Twilight] or funny. Children, in real life, people don't look cute when they fall every other minute, or when they break Christmas ornaments on the hotel's Christmas tree in the lobby of the hotel. That person has to take the ornament she broke to an employee and offer to pay for what she broke. And then that person has to suffer the humiliation (well, I'm exaggerating) that comes with the employee joking that the ornament costs 300 dollars and you actually believe her.
Yup, life is hard for us clumsy people. While I do tend to brighten up peoples' days with my excessive falls and damages to property and be able to always surround myself with laughing people, I don't like being seen as "cute" or "adorable." I want to be seen as womanly ("It's a man's world out there, and to get ahead you've got to be better than a man. You've got to be a WOman! I am woman, hear me SMASH!" - Joe Walker as Umbridge, my inspiration) and tough, not cute. Because I am tough. Seriously, I beat my dad in an arm wrestling match (he didn't let me win, I know it for a fact).

Now, for my ending!!!
(That was it).
(Also, next time, I will blog about why I hate Glee, but still watch it).

My Personal Info...

rmation, or whatever you call it, is incorrect. If anyone has seen it, you should know that I am not a ninja. 
What? Oh no, it's not because ninjas are really hard to come by and you don't think one of them would make a blog online. The reason is that a real ninja would never, ever actually tell anyone he/she is a ninja. It's just not right. Secrecy is a big deal with ninjas. I'm not a ninja. I wish I were a ninja. Doesn't everybody want to be a ninja? Everybody does. Yeah....
I love pirates too, though. I don't buy into the whole "ninjas vs. pirates" deal. That was invented by someone who hates peace. I think it would be awesome if I met a pirate who used to be a ninja who became a dragon who killed a whole town with one blow of it's fire breathing breath, and dreams of one day becoming a unicorn. That awesome being would be so... so AWESOME!
I don't even know the point of this. I mean, it's only 10:34 p.m., I'm not bored or sleepy. So, shouldn't I make sense now? But I don't. It's a problem. It's a wonder how people understand me in day to day life. Though, I'm not quite sure that they do.
This hotel is very weird. (I'm talking about the one I'm staying in obviously)
The people are very nice, but there are NO VENDING MACHINES! I mean the food kinds. The ones that have chips and cookies and candy and chocolate in them. Not the ones that have only drinks in them. Are they also called vending machines? Here, there is a drink machine on ever floor of every building. Oh, and that's another thing. There are three buildings on the hotel campus (that sounds weird). They aren't connected, so getting to the lobby and restaurant take a lot of effort for me. Each building has three floors, so there are nine drink machines for this hotel. WOW! And they couldn't just buy one vending machine.
Time for abrupt ending:
BYE!

I Saw You

Standing in the rain, calling my name, calling my name.
Any who, I didn't actually see anyone right now. That would be strange. It's 6:57 a.m. Anyone awake now must be a total weirdo. *wink wink*
So yesterday, my family and I set out for the road. We were going to a hotel for ten days. It's a thing my community does every year. 80-100, maybe more, families get together and stay at a hotel and do stuff. Anyway, I came to the hotel yesterday and since hotel beds are uncomfortable, I couldn't sleep. The result is me writing a blog with a topic and I don't know where the hill (not a typing error) I'm going with this.
Maybe I'm going nowhere.
Oh! I remembered a project I created for myself. I will share it with you.
Heres; the deal. I have hilarious teachers. They're so hilarious, it's not even funny (it is). So I decided to write everything my teachers say that make me laugh. I'll put some of the quotes up now. This blog will be about a teacher I will call Carl, and he's the Chemistry Honors teacher. A little background: He's really really funny, but harsh, strict, and mean at times.

1. Carl: Why is it easier for an electron to escape the atom if it is farther from the nucleus?
Students:... *cue chirping cricket sounds* (are crickets the ones that chirp? whatever)
Carl: Seriously? No one knows? Okay...okay.
(he takes seven chairs and arranges them to make one column across the room. Then, he jumps on one of the chairs and runs across the seven chairs, stepping once on each chair)
Students: *cue scared looks because Carl looks really angry. Except for me. I'm trying hold in my laughter at this random act*
Carl: (gives a ten minute lecture on confidence and not being scared to answer questions)

2. Carl: (talking about energy levels and how an electron can escape the atom easier if it is farther away from the nucles(. So pretend the nucleus is a hot chick. If I'm at the first energy level, I'll be awe-struck by her hotness. But if I'm all the way at, say the seventh level, I won't be as stupefied by her charm. There;ll be more guys between me and the hot chick, and then I'll be like, "Dude, I'm outta here. All these guys falling in love with here, I won't stand a change."

3. On the first day of school, a student's phone rang. Carl's response is deafening:
            "OH YEAH! It's the FIRST DAY MAN! THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
And then he ran at the student from across the class, at full speed and screaming in an ear-splitting voice. The guy whose phone rang was pretty freaked out. I'm not even exaggerating here.

4. Carl is famous for having stupid answers on his multiple choice tests. He even said, "You know, don't even study for the multiple choice. Study for Written Answers. You all know I put stupid choices. You'll get everything right just by elimination on Multiple Choice.
Some answers from a multiple choice test that I can remember:
    - cause the atom's hella tight, man
    - Because the Giants won the World Series
    -Chocolate
    - Even Almighty Atom Man who goes to Stanford couldn't find the answer!

Hope that was entertaining. It wasn't for me. Because I NEED TO SLEEP!
Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to cream at you.

Community

It's 12:04 A.M. and I can't sleep. So here is a form of torture I will be inflicting on you as a present for the holidays from me.
I will explain exactly why Community is the best show on television.
I like a lot of shows, and most of them are comedies (i.e. The Office, Parks and Recreation, Outsourced). Community, however, tops the list for the show I wait to watch with the most enthusiasm every week.
Community is all about a community college (Greendale) and seven people who form a Spanish study group together. This comedy is streets ahead of most other comedies (see what I did there? Streets ahead is a phrase a character from the show was trying to coin). Here are some reasons why:

• Abed: 'nuff said if you know Community. Abed is an awesome, weird character. He thinks life is a movie, and has great comical moments. Here are some awesome comments from him:
• Abed: It's the first season of Lost on DVD.
  Pierce: That's the meaning of Christmas?
  Abed: No it's a metaphor. It represents lack of payoff.
•  Fair warning, guys. A journey through winter wonderland tends to test your commitment to Christmas. So when I say test, I mean Wonka-style. I'm talking dark. My advice: Stay honest, stay alert, and for the love of God, stay between the gumdrops.
• Britta: It's called a Muffin Top, Abed.
  Abed: Like a muffin. Clever.
• (This is when Abed's friends are convincing him he should be himself to get a girl to like him. He's being himself) Troy: Abed, what are you doing?
  Abed: Being myself.
  Troy: Go be yourself by Jenny.
  Abed: I wouldn't go over there.
  Pierce: How do you know that?
  Abed: A lifetime of observation mostly. 
• Senior Cheng: He is the spanish teacher turned student. This guy is so hilarious he hires an actress to say he died over break, then comes back to say "I am a man that can never die. And that has been your first taste of Spanish 1-0-Dos. The semester I get inside your cabezas." He doesn't really know Spanish, and admits he got through the year on what he learned from Sesame Street. After getting caught, he becomes a student. Some great quotes from 'DA MAN are:
• Hasta luego! Come on, hands are 90% of spanish! 
•  Every once in a while, a student will come up to me and ask, "Señor Chang, why do you teach Spanish?" [chuckles] They say it just like that. Why do you teach Spanish? [grin drops]
  Why you? Why not math? Why not photography? Why not martial arts? I mean, surely, it must be in my nature to instruct you in something that's ancient and secret, like, oh, building a wall that you can see from outer space! Well, I'll tell you why I teach Spanish. It is none of your business, okay? I don't wanna have any conversations about what a mysterious, inscrutable man I am. Oh hee hee hee hee hee hee! Oh hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo! I am a Spanish Genius! In español, my nickname is El Tigre Chino!
  [pretends to bite Shirley's neck] 
• 'Cause my knowledge will bite her face off! So don't question Señor Chang or you'll get bit. Yah!
• Troy and Abed's clips at the end of each episode: These two are hilarious. At the end of each show, there is a small clip of these two doing something really really funny. e.g.:

• Jeff Winger: He's the guy who was being interviewed earlier, and is, I think, the main character of the show. He had a fake bachelor's degree in law and got caught, so now he has to go to a community college to actually get one. He's sarcastic, cool, and funny. What's not to like?

And that ends my enlightening talk about the wonderful show "Community." Go watch it right now so you don't miss anything. I think it's underrated and should be more popular than Glee. Seriously. I don't even get why that show is so popular. The plot is always the same. The only reason I watch it is because the incomparable Darren Criss is part of the cast now. but that's a topic for another day.

This Is Going To Be Totally Awesome

For any of you that got the AVPM reference (and know what AVPM stands for), I am giving you (imaginary) monopoly money as a prize. Do with it whatever you may!
Any who, I want to have fun making this (hopefully) awesome blog and just let out my frustrations of life here. It's going to be like a diary that everyone can see.
Actually... it may not be such a good idea in case anyone "discovers" *cue oohs and aahs* who I really am. (Note: the name is a pseudonym)
That's about it.
*cue applause*
 Thank you, thank you.
*cue my bowing at my internet audience in my head*
*cue me explaining that I like using the word cue a lot, in case you hadn't noticed*